Monday 18 September 2017

Unwanted Boss


VAN GAAL: Why are you guys looking at me?

MATA AND VALENCIA: Nothing oo. We just dey observe!

VAN GAAL: Observe what?

MATA AND VALENCIA: Observe why you played Martial in the wing when he is the best center forward his age. And why you play Rooney as a defensive midfielder and Fellaini as a striker.

VAN GAAL: It's all about my philosophy! Giggs and this dude understand and they look happy! Look at their faces!

MATA AND VALENCIA: They look happy because they know they will be taking over from you!

VAN GAAL: What did you just say?

VALENCIA: You ni overthrow. Egbon Giggs ti take over!

VAN GAAL: What is the meaning of what you just said!

MATA explains: Giggs has been taken over by your wonderful philosophy because it has overthrown the philosophy of Manchester United.

VAN GAAL: Where did you learn to speak yoruba?

MATA: Mikel is a Nigerian. He taught us yoruba at Chelsea.

VAN GAAL: Ok. I think Mikel is the final puzzle in my philosophy.

MATA AND VALENCIA: Where are you going to play Mikel if you buy him?

VAN GAAL: As a striker! Mikel will be the best number 9 this club has ever seen!

MATA AND VALENCIA: Kai! Manchester United don enter ONE CHANCE!
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